The Most Amazing Guide to Foreplay You’ll Ever Read
Posted: Jul 31 2015
I have had my fair share of sex partners in my life; I’m not ashamed to admit it. I mean, I am a firm believer that you have to test drive a vehicle before you buy it, and no way was I getting a partner without seeing what they had to offer in the bedroom first. Is that shallow? Maybe, but it’s also smart! In my sexual exploits I have come to wonder if some people truly don’t know what foreplay is or if they do but just don’t care. It’s like some people want to skip over some of the best appetizers to get to the main course. Sex isn’t a goal, it’s an experience. So, if you were wondering how to take your foreplay game to the next level, I am going to offer you this guide sexual health guide to foreplay. You’re welcome.
Take A Step Back
I think the best way to think about foreplay is with the baseball analogy about bases. You remember those from school, right? First base is kissing, second base is copping a feel, third base is manual or oral stimulation and a home run is, well, going all the way. If you want to improve the foreplay in your current relationship (because there’s always room for improvement!) then you have to go back to the beginning. When you want to connect and are feeling a bit randy, then make out. And I mean make out like two horny teenagers whose parents are going to be home any minute. Use tongue. A lot of tongue all over the place – but keep those clothes on. For now.
When you’re ready to go forward to second base then cop that feel. This transports you back to a time in your relationship when you were just learning each other’s bodies. Plus, touch is really important on a human connection level. Caressing your partner’s body will make them hot and ready for the rest of the night. You can even tease each other in public a little bit in this way, which can add a sense of naughtiness and danger to the whole thing – and who doesn’t love a little bit of harmless fun every once in a while! It keeps you young!
Third base you will need privacy for. Let’s not get arrested for public indecency, ok. Joy Sex Toys Online will not spring for your bail money. This is the base that most people tend to skip over, but you shouldn’t. Manual or oral stimulation of your partner is important in getting them ready. If you’re in a long-term relationship you’ve probably noticed a decline in this type of foreplay, but you should really concentrate on trying to drag this one out for as long as you can. I’m always a fan of going down on my lover as a part of foreplay, and it something that we both enjoy. If you need ideas on what to do, do what feels good, what feels right and put everything you’ve got into it. Enthusiasm counts for a lot.
Well, we’ve made it home base. At this point you should be gagging for it. Panting with ecstasy! If the foreplay has been good then you’ve probably already had an orgasm, so you could be going for round two here. If that’s the case, you’ll need to be realistic and get some reinforcements like lubeand sex toys for this one. Quite often, orgasm two will not come as easily (pun!) as orgasm one did. You both are really going to have to work for it without it feeling like work!
If you’re not used to having multiple orgasms in one sex session, well I think you need to work on that. There’s no universal rule that limits you to one orgasm per sexual experience, so push your limits and what you thought you knew about sex up until this point. You will need to relax and let yourself just feel sensations. Have fun and feel good – that’s what sex is all about. Throw in a few laughs and that sounds like a fabulous escapade to me.
Stuck In A Sexual Rut
If you’re in a long-term relationship and your partner seems to not be listening to you when you talk about your needs and desires when it comes to foreplay then it’s high time to have a conversation with them and very directly state what it is you want. It can be hard to feel connected and want to have sex with a partner you feel isn’t listening to you, but you have to take the step to broach the topic if you ever want the situation to improve.
It’s important when talking about this to not attack your partner while still maintaining directness. It may be that your partner has very specifically needed you to spell out what it is you want and how you want it done. If you want longer time at base one, then tell them that. But, you have to be careful not to play into the anxieties they may be experiencing about their ability to please you and give you sexual satisfaction.
A great technique for talking about this is to start with the things they are doing right. Give compliments about what you do like and then go into the areas you want more of or what you want to improve upon. If this conversation leads to some foreplay and then you need to make it a teaching moment. If they go right back into their old ways then point it out to them as they are doing it. If this doesn’t make an impression, I’m not sure what will! We all can use some direction every now and then.
I personally think one of the biggest mistakes we all can make in a relationship is not speaking out when we should. If something is bothering you and your communication is healthy, then you should not be afraid to say what you need to- in a diplomatic way, of course.
They Want Your Kiss
I know this is the part you’ve been waiting for– the tips and tricks. You knew they were coming (again, pun!). I wouldn’t let you down! A huge part of foreplay is kissing, and you may be the best kisser in the southern hemisphere but there’s always going to be room for improvement!
For example, did you know that the area around the lips on the mouth is very sensitive to touch? It’s true. Most people tend to focus on the lips themselves, but if you ever so softly trace the tip of your tongue round this area it can create all kinds of delicious sensations. Now, I’m not suggesting that you lick around their entire mouth just like you’re trying to clean their face off. What I’m suggesting is that when you’re kissing as your normally do, trace the edge of their upper or lower lip then pull back and kiss again. You can turn this into a tease that will, more than likely, drive them wild!
Now for the neck part of necking. The spot between the jaw and shoulders is an erogenous zone for most people, but if you focus on the little indentation where the collarbones meet at the base of the neck – it’ll take it to another level.
From the bottom of the rib cage to the hips there runs a nerve that connects directly to the penis or clitoris. I’m serious! I bet you wish you’d paid more attention in anatomy class now, don’t you? When you caress, touch, lick and kiss this area it will increase arousal. You’ll want to be a bit firmer here to get the full benefits.
Now for the thighs! One of the most sensitive nerves in the body is at the top of the inner thigh. You’ll want to start with light touches and get firmer as you work up excitement. You’re going to try this tonight, aren’t you?
Tips For The Men
Now, I’m not trying to pick on you here, but women can be a bit harder to get going in the bedroom with foreplay than your average bear. So, this is my attempt to help you bridge the gender gap and wow her with your foreplay skills.
First and foremost, use your words. Anyone can moan and groan, but whispering naughty things into her ear is a sure way to get her juices flowing. If you can talk and make it fun but hot, then it’ll be a better experience for both people involved.
Next, I have one word for you: boobs. There’s more than one way to a woman’s orgasm and spending time with the twins is always welcome and encouraged! Give them the attention they deserve and just go to town with your hands, lips and tongue.
I’m going to be brutally honest with you here – you need to be gentle. At no point should you be rubbing so hard it’s like you’re trying to erase a part of a woman’s body, especially the clitoris. She needs a gentle touch to get where you want her to go. And remember that a hand in the bush is worth one on the boobs. You have two hands, so use them both!
When you’re really getting down with the foreplay, undress her. It is very erotic for women if you make a show of taking off her clothes and appreciating what you find underneath. Also, here’s a pro tip: if she’s wearing sexy, lacy underwear then she wore it for you. Appreciate it. Pretty simple, huh?
Remember when you would torture your younger siblings by giving them wet willies in their ears? Well, that’s something you want to avoid when you’re making out with a woman. There’s tongue and then there’s tongue. You need to keep how much tongue you use in check and realize that less is most definitely more.
The most important thing to remember is that if a woman is not properly warmed up then the sex will not be good for her. You should want it to be good for her, so make sure it is!
When Foreplay is Done
There are a few keys things to know about when you’re going a bit too far with the foreplay. For example, if you’ve developed carpal tunnel syndrome since you started the foreplay, it’s probably enough. Loosing feeling in your hand is most definitely not a part of what you’re going for here. Also, if co-workers and neighbors have become concerned because they think you’ve gone missing, I think your devotion is admirable but you may have just given it a little too much.
Remember, the point to foreplay is to not only get your and your partner ready to have great sex, but to connect with each other. You have to know both you and your partner’s limits but still know when it’s time to move on to other activities. Have fun but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Learning new things and getting good at foreplay is half the fun, after all!