The Shocking Reality of Anal Sex
Posted: Jun 26 2015
Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
Remember the book “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus”? I may be dating myself here, but it was a really popular book about the differences between the sexes in communication. Recently, there was a study published that found that there’s a pretty vast difference in the way men and women think about anal sex, too. So, it looks like it’s not just in communication that we differ from one another, but about ass play too. That really explains a lot about my life. The study, published in the auspiciously named medical journal BMJ Open, collected information about when anal sex occurs and the reasons why men and women engaging in anal sex. Some of the results were quite shocking – or not.
Macho Men Badasses/ Fear Damaged Reputation
Men in the study tended to correlate anal sex with pleasure and basically being macho badasses with bragging rights while the women in the study correlated it with fear of physical pain and a damaged reputation. That’s a pretty stark difference! The men in the study also reported that they wanted to mimic pornography they viewed. This might be a good place to mention that the study was a sample of 130 men and women between the ages of 16 and 18 in England. So, 18-year-old men wanted to recreate porn is not surprising data. No offense, guys.
Women On The Other Hand
Women, on the other hand, said their motivations for doing it were to please their partner. Again, not surprising for this age group. What I personally find a bit disturbing is that the interviewees in this study seemed to agree on the fact that women were supposed to be begged or forced into having anal and should expect it to hurt. If they turned down anal sex, they were considered to be uptight. Even more disturbing about this study was that the participants seemed to be unaware that STD’s can be transmitted through anal sex. I weep for the future.
So, admittedly, this is a pretty small study. Only 130 participants and I don’t think anyone is arguing that it’s statistically significant. I think what is significant about it, however, is the idea that these are views that do permeate society. And not just teenage society, but all age groups in all societies all over the world. There are a great many cultures where women are coerced into sexual acts due to their position in a patriarchal society. Sure, there are plenty of places where women have the right to vote and are educated at the same rates as men, but even in those cultures there are ideas that persist that put women at a disadvantage. And that often manifests itself in sex.
I don’t want to be too preachy here, but I think it’s important to remember that if you want to try anal sex because you saw it in a porno movie you really need to remember that the sex in porno movies isn’t even realistic. An education film they are not. Anal happens to be something that you really either like doing or you don’t, and that idea rests in the fact that you have to have a partner that is willing to prepare and do research to make it good for you. If you want to try it, try it. If you don’t, then don’t. But no one should ever feel obligated to participate in a sex act they don’t want to do.
If this is something you do want to explore with your partner, then talk about it. Good sex means good communication. Buy some high-quality silicone lube and use it. Remember that both you and your partner are equals, and that means you have an equal voice in what goes on.