How Anal Sex Toys Benefits Your Sex Life
Posted: Jun 14 2015
Anal sex can be one of the greatest things humankind ever stumbled upon. Don’t get me wrong, antibiotics are great, as is plastic, but anal sex is just in its own league. Perhaps a happy mistake, I’m glad to be the benefactor of its pleasures now. But, I wasn’t always of this opinion. There were many years that I refused to even try anal sex or anything that involved my anus. I look back on those years sheepishly now, but I know through talking with friends that I am not alone. I don’t have that many girlfriends that enjoy anal play in any form and for a variety of reasons. What can I say? They’re missing out! Now, I’d almost rather have anal sex than any other kind of sex and adding anal sex toys has only made that opinion stronger!
I’m going to let you in on a little secret about anal sex: if your lady isn’t into it what you need to do is…wait. Bring it up in conversation from time to time, but don’t force the issue – that’ll only put her off more. Sooner or later she’s bound to become curious, and curiosity will lead to openness, which will then lead to anal bliss. If you play your cards right!
It might be good to impart some knowledge onto her about why anal sex is good, in your most non-pushy way. If you want to play to her subversive side, stress that anal sex is naughty! Nearly every woman has fantasies that involve being naughty on some level, and there’s no better way to let those fantasies play out than with anal sex. Exploring anal is also a good way to get some variety in your sex life, it’s a special thing that you probably won’t do every day. It’s a naughty secret the both of you share.
Another plus is that anal sex feels good, and it feels good in a completely different way than vaginal sex. That’s not just a line to try and sway her either! I know that for me, the orgasms that result from anal sex are some of the best I have. A way to make it feel even better is with toys – and we’ll get to that in a minute!
If you’re really grasping at straws for ways to talk up anal, it might be good to mention that you can’t get her pregnant that way! I mean, nothing is ever 100% guaranteed in this life, but the chances are slim that a baby will result of anal play. Do remember though, diseases are easily transmitted this way, so don’t forget to protect yourself and your partner.
If you want your lady to let you in the back passage, you are going to have to assuage her fears. Her biggest fear is that it’s going to hurt, because in reality even someone who is a seasoned anal sex-er can have episodes that don’t feel too good. Time, patience and preparation are the only way to make anal sex not painful. You can’t be the guy who gets her to agree and just goes for it! You have to be the guy that is patient, loving, kind and lets her take the lead. When you really think about it, how good anal is for her is going to be almost entirely based on how relaxed and turned on she is – and that, my friend, is your job to accomplish!
Another fear she probably has is that it’s going to get messy. This is the hole that excrement comes out of, after all, so I don’t think it’s a complete unrealistic fear. I think your job here is to convince her a few things. One, no way is your penis big enough to produce the kind of action that she fears. I’m not joking, either. You would have to be a seriously above average man in length, like in the 95th percentile, to even reach the part of the rectum where the poo is, that’s just a fact. Two, where you’re going to be going isn’t even where the poop is stored, it’s just physiology. As long as she has a bowel movement within a few hours of when you want to play, you should be just fine.
Tricks of the Trade
I cannot express enough the importance of lubrication when you’re going to be knocking on the back door. In case you haven’t picked up on this already, the vagina self-lubricates but the anus does not. So, if you’re going to be putting your penis someplace where lubrication isn’t going to occur naturally you will need to put it there. Put a lot of it there. There is, in my opinion,no such thing as too much lube when you’re talking anal action. Silicone-based products will be your best bet because they will last longer. No one wants to have to re-lube in the middle of a sex session, especially an anal sex session.
Foreplay is a must-have in a normal sex situation, and it’s a must-have (maybe even more so) when it comes to anal. She is going to need to be in a state of frenzied arousal in order to be ready to attempt anal sex, and it’s your job to help her get there. Remember, the better it is for her, the better it will be for you – and the more open she’ll be to doing it in the future. So, make it count!
The Porn Connection
I feel that it’s important to say that there is no porn connection when it comes to anal, because what it is you’re going to be doing is most certainly not going to be like what you’ve seen in your favorite porn movie. The only connection porn has to what’s going on is your bedroom is the fact that it’s probably what will inspire you both to take the plunge into some backdoor action. Other than that, it’s time for a reality check. Keep your expectations firmly planted in reality and don’t expect more from your partner than they’re willing to give. Being in control may be exciting for you, and often anal sex can be a bit of a power trip for a guy, but don’t ever forget about your partner and her needs when you’re doing the anal dance.
The Final Frontier
Once you’ve gotten your lady accustomed to anal action, I would expect she’ll want to branch out to anal sex toys at some point. This is a boon for you incorporating sex toys into anal play can not only increase the pleasure for the both of you; it can also help you to prepare her for serious action. I’d also be remiss if I didn’t mention that learning how to use anal sex toys is one of the more pleasurable things involved with anal play. Using any one of the toys in conjunction with a vibrator will catapult your partner into another dimension.
Let’s talk anal beads. They’re a great beginning anal sex toy. Easy to use and pleasurable, the folks over at Fun Factory have a version that is guaranteed to benefit your bum. The Bendy Beads are a chain of soft beads that gradually increase in size towards the base. They ratchet up the pleasure because they are bendable, so you can use them to find just the right spot –namely your partner’s g-spot from the other side. They’re also 100% silicone, so they’re body safe, and they have a ring at the end to help with retrieval. Removing these beads when your partner is about to orgasm is an indescribable experience for her, and I can’t recommend adding anal beads to your sex toy stash enough. Just remember, you only want to use toys for the anus that were designed to go there.Anything else will risk injury or getting stuck, and that’s a trip to the emergency room no one wants to make!
Another great anal bead option is the Fifty Shades of Grey Pleasure Intensified Anal Beads. I forgot to mention before that the great things about anal beads are that they can be for either partner – with the same benefits. If you insert them during foreplay and then remove at climax, they’ll be worth their weight in gold. Because of the graduated design of anal beads, they are great beginner anal sex toys. You can take as few or as many of the beads as you want, and they help you to explore your back door in a way that nothing else can. These anal beads are also bendable, and made of silicone, so they’re easy to clean and will hit you or your partner in all of the right places!
There are so many anal sex toys out there that it can be a bit overwhelming. But if your partner is new to the scene I think anal beads are a great place to start. You can work your way up to more impressive toys, and believe me when I say that she is more than likely to be the one spearheading that effort!
Anal sex can be one of the best things you and partner discover, but it has to be something that you both discover together. If you’re partner isn’t into it, then don’t push it. As I said in the beginning, curiosity will probably tempt even the staunchest of anal haters, eventually. You also have to take into account that a lot of women have experiences with anal sex at some point that are bad. You have to take the time to show them why it will be different with you.
No matter the result, talking about and exploring new things with you partner will bring you closer together. So here’s to sexual waters yet uncharted for all of you. Go out and explore!