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How to Tell if a Threesome is Right for Your Relationship

Posted: Jun 02 2015

If you’re in a relationship, having a threesome might seem like the holy grail of sexual acts to experience with your partner. It sounds exciting and fun and everyone always touts it as an experience that, if you’re both open to it, will improve your sex life. This is uncharted territory for most of us, and it takes some serious thought and planning beforehand not to ruin your relationship while trying to live out a fantasy. So, how do you navigate this sexual minefield? Let us here at Joy Sex Toys Online be your guide as we explore what to consider before you take the trio plunge.

The Question is: If It's Worth It?

First of all you need to take a hard look at your motivations and decide if it’s really worth it. Are you really working to make this fantasy a reality or are you just waiting for the right third person to fall from the sky, naked, into your lounge? If it’s the latter than you may need to reevaluate. It’s realistic that the fantasy may be more fun for you than the reality and if that’s the case that is ok. I have fantasies of covering myself in whipped cream and making myself the meat in a Chris McQueen/Ben Lowe Rabbitohs sandwich, but I think it’s probably more realistic to just watch the games and fantasize. If you have a threesome fantasy you don’t have to act on it.

How to Tell if a Threesome is Right for Your Relationship

If you and partner do decide that you want to go for it, then you need be very clear about boundaries. Boundaries will make or break the experience for you both. Is penetration ok? Oral sex? It may seem silly, but you have to be really comprehensive with your dos and don't's in this scenario. It is also a good idea to let the third party in on your boundaries. Communication is key to any successful endeavor, including a threesome!

After Deciding What Do You Do

Now that you’ve decided to go for it, be thankful you live in the 21st century. I’m guessing that threesomes were a heck of a lot harder to find before the advent of the internet! There are threesome specific websites as well as apps to help you find that magical third person. It may be tempting to go with a friend, but I don’t think I can emphasize enough that this is not a great idea. Someone you see socially may be more comfortable, but it’ll get real uncomfortable real quick when you see them afterward and realize that they’ve licked your butt. In fact, you will probably only ever be able to think of them as “the butt licker” in your head. No one wants to be known as “the butt licker”, so just avoid the friends.

Finding Someone You Both Are Attracted To

Another challenge for the two of you will be to find someone you are both attracted to. You might want a tall and willowy woman, she may want a short and round one, and this brings us full circle to point one, which is to evaluate if it’s really worth doing. Do you want to risk your relationship for a night with someone you aren’t all that attracted to?

Once you have a few potential people for this sexual endeavor make sure you take the time to feel it out. This is not an encounter that you will want to rush. Meet for a drink and see if it feels right. Taking your time to find the right one will make the whole experience that much better.

Relax Don't Over Analyze

Don’t feel pressured once you’ve decided on someone to go all the way the first time. Dragging it out and waiting until a later encounter to actually have sex will help to make the experience better. Maybe make out first, or cuddle before moving on to the old in-and-out. This is also a great way to make sure you and your partner are still on the same page and feeling good about the situation. Baby steps, people!

A really good thing that can result from exploring the idea of a threesome with your partner is that you will inevitably learn a lot about yourself and your relationship. Maybeyou’re a jealous person (or your partner is), in which case a threesome is probably not going to work out. If it feels like you’re going to spend the whole time over-analyzing how this will impact your relationship with your partner and their sexual attraction to you, then this fantasy might be better left in fantasyland.

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