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The World’s Most Dangerous Sex Position

Posted: May 10 2015

Great White Sharks. Skydiving. Climbing Mount Everest. Sex Positions. You may be wondering what all of these could possibly have in common and the answer to that is: they’re dangerous. Ok, so maybe having sex with your partner on top of you isn’t the same thing as entering the death zone on Mount Everest, but in each case bodily harm can be sustained. I think there’s a case to be made here.

Most people out there like to switch it up from time to time and change up their sex positions. Don’t worry, it’s natural. It turns out, however, that the woman on top position has been found by scientific studies to pose more of a threat than other sex positions. Honestly, living in Australia, is this something you should really worry about? I mean, in the vicinity of your front door there are roughly 2,583 things that could kill you.You’re tough. You’ve thrived in one of the most hostile environments on earth, full of venomous snakes and spiders the size of house cats. A little woman on top action never hurt anyone.

Well, it has hurt someone. A lot of someones, it turns out. Researchers in Brazil did a study where they looked at patients with alleged penile fractures. Yes, penile fractures. We’ll get to that in a minute. Anyway, they found that the woman on top sex position was responsible for about half of the fractures. Doggy-style was a close second and missionary was third. I think it’s pretty clear that reason more penile fractures occurred with a woman on top is because she’s in control of the motion…and the momentum. Riding you like a bucking bronco is fun and all, if your penis is in her vagina. If that sucker pops out then you, my friend, could be the victim of a penile fracture.

So, let’s just get this out of the way. What, exactly, is a penile fracture? Get your vomit bag ready, because I don’t even have a penis and this makes me cringe. It’s when the penis, while hard, sustains trauma if bent forcefully or suddenly. There is (oh hold on to your daks!) an audible cracking sound that occurs when a person sustains a penile fracture. That sound is the rupture of the lining of one of the two cylinders that engorge your penis with blood when erect.There is intense and immediate pain. Let’s move on, because I’ve got cold sweats.

This is, of course, not very common. There’s no real reason not to continue an active and perhaps rigorous sex life if that’s your thing. After all, on any given day any number of bad things could befall you. At least if you sustain a sex injury it would be while you were having sex (I can think of worse things!) and would make a great story to tell once you’ve healed. I would assume you’d get at least a few rounds down at the pub from your mates as a result. Life is too short to stick to safe sex positions anyway!

The World’s Most Dangerous Sex Position

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